Thank you for the letter! :) It has the coolest stamps from Australia! And it’s very wonderful to see your handwriting and hear about your thoughts and adventures…enjoy that beautiful place. And Penelope sends her love!
One of your questions has been on my mind this week. You had texted, “If Jesus passed you on the street and asked what do you want from me, would you have something to ask Him for? Why is it that thing? You know, like when he passes the blind man and asks him, ‘What do you want from me?’ And the blind man said that he wanted to see. If he passed me on the street, I would probably waste a wish, because I do not know what I would ask for. I still want things sometimes, but in the presence of Jesus, would you need those anymore?”
This is a great question Libby. My first response is that this has made me stop and think. Part of my pause is that I ask Him for things all of the time. Hourly really…and most of those things are about praying for people, so I’m asking for them…but would I be asking differently in His presence, as you were saying? What would it be like to actually ask Him for something while looking into His eyes? It makes me wonder if my prayers are consciously, seriously, always really asking HIM. Or do I just pray words sometimes? Do I just feel better because I have gone through the motions of praying? Is that even really prayer? Hm.
And so then also I think about the blind man on the road, calling out to Jesus. He was saying, from the gospel of Mark chapter 10, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me.” He knew who Jesus was…Son of David carried the meaning of Messiah. I think it’s also interesting that, “And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more.” He cried out all the more. Hm. It was his crying out that got Jesus’ attention. “And Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him.’” So, they brought the blind man to Jesus. Well, they told him Jesus said to come. “And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus.” I can picture the whole scene, can’t you? Such certainty and enthusiasm. And he knew exactly what he wanted Jesus to do for him didn’t he. “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” Yes. Jesus saw his faith. He knew Jesus could restore his sight. I want to be like this blind man! He knew who Jesus was. He cried out to him persistently. He sprang up and went to him. Urgency. Certainty. Faith. And it all led to an invitation from Jesus—what do you want me to do for you?
We’ve talked about mind wanderings some, Libby…these are my mind wanderings around your question. But I haven’t exactly answered, have I? What would I ask Him for if He walked by me on the street? And why? OK, let me try…maybe…Jesus help me forgive and release and love those who have hurt me. I tend to ruminate and hold onto too much. And for sure, Lord Jesus please show yourself real to those I love. Maybe…help me fight self-hatred or really actually just take it away please. I feel “less than” too much of the time. Please free my mind from these things, and from worry…from wondering if I’m missing things you want me to do. Show me if my life has missed the mark and please help me finish well. Jesus let me feel your love for me. Jesus please give me wisdom. That’s kind of a lot to ask for isn’t it? I ask for these because these are the things that my heart longs for most. And I believe some of it tends to limit me from living free and full of His love…life abundant. That’s what He said we could have…and I want to experience that life and help others experience it more fully as well. So, I think those are the things I’d ask Him for…and why I’d ask for them.
It’s crazy even as I typed all of those words, I could feel Him answering me. It’s like He was saying…I hear you. I see you. I’m here, I’m real. Set your mind to forgive as you’ve been forgiven, you can do it…I’ll help you as it all rises up in you. And I’m pursuing those you love. I promise. And I am healing your mind. Trust Me. Your life is unfolding according to my plans. Look into My eyes and receive my love for you. Be still and wait for My wisdom moment by moment. I promise to be near and to give you what you need. Ahhhhh such wonderful words. They hit my soul.
It’s hard to explain why I know it’s Him saying these things, even right now...but I really believe it is. It would be amazing if we were standing on a street corner, I think His words would hit even harder. They would especially if I literally couldn’t see and He healed my eyes, and then I saw Him. I find He is healing places in me that are not so obvious, but equally blind in many ways. There is a quiet certainty growing inside of me. You know, honestly Libby, I think it’s all about crying out to Him and moving toward Him just like the blind man did. Faith to do those things is what leads to healing…all healing. But then we are back to what you said from the start…in the presence of Jesus would you even need those things? So, for me right now, in the presence of Jesus many of the things I need most are being given, because of His presence. I’m grateful! I just need to figure out how to stay in His presence day by day. I think that’s the challenge….
I hope that all makes some sense…kind of a long answer!
I thank Him for you…as always…